If you’re anything like me, you just came here from Twitter. If not, maybe you just checked your e-mail again, or just closed out of your news feed for the third time today. What did you find there? Something interesting? Was it anything that helped ease your mind from all of the anxiety of living in 2022?
I think we already know the answer to that. Whether you’re doomscrolling, or just looking for a funny clip of a cat, we all end up in this strange space we’re forced to share, for better or worse. It can be overwhelming just unlocking your phone at times. If some big event has transpired overnight, then there goes your morning.
I’m not going to get too deep into the psychology of why we do this. There are countless articles you can pore over if you feel like taking a break from reading about the next world crisis. My goal here is simply to share with you something small. A little trick I came up with to direct my mind away from the toxicity of the web.
Let me begin.
So there I was, lying in bed, scrolling through different posts on Reddit. I already know what you’re thinking, but my homepage is pretty benign, considering I’m mostly subscribed to cat and animal subreddits for a quick laugh. It can help get my mind off of the day, when used properly. That’s the thing, though, isn’t it? Who ever uses Reddit properly? After failing to produce even a smirk, it didn’t take long until I was back over in the general news feed, scrolling away again.
I was tired, begging my brain to let me fall asleep just this once, without having to toss and turn before reopening another news article. My thumb went faster and faster, posts of war and inflation flying by, and then, it hit me. I asked myself a serious question I hadn’t considered before.
What are you searching for?
Way back in the day, when the internet was used more as a tool as opposed to a device for entertainment, we often logged on to search for something. I mean, that’s why Google practically dominates the entire World Wide Web, right? We used to go online to learn how to file our taxes, or to see what’s new on the menu at the local pizza joint. Now, our whole lives are practically on the internet. When did this shift happen?
Somewhere deep in my brain, a part of me yearned for something. Something to satisfy my crisis addled brain that would allow me to fall asleep and feel satiated. The only problem was, there was no such thing that would fulfill me, especially when I was reading the latest headlines from around the world.
Posing this question was a challenge. When was the last time I was honest with myself about my favorite form of entertainment? Never? That answer was enough for me. I deleted the app and put my phone away. For a moment, I thought I had conquered my urge to check the news, but things aren’t always so easy. I still tossed and turned, but I had a new voice in the back of my head. It brought me back to the old days when I practiced cognitive behavioral therapy.
The only difference was, I had no one to help me work out what I was feeling when I was putting high miles on my phone. If I’m being honest, I think I could be a Platinum earner by now. The point is, we have all become so isolated in the past couple of years, that divining what we really need in the moment has become a trivial task.
I eventually caved and downloaded all of my social media apps again, but the question stuck with me. Instead of asking myself what I was searching for after I had read countless tweets, I posed the question even when I was doing laundry, or talking with a friend on the phone. Stopping a task that I thought was what I wanted at the time became difficult, but something started to happen.
Desires I never even knew I had began to manifest. Enjoying things became easier. For instance, when I was down and out with allergies from hell, I wanted nothing more than to eat soup and watch The Lord of the Rings. When I put it on, I noticed details that were hidden from me before. The little things I had missed became so endearing to me that it felt like an entirely different story. Had my mind become so bungled in the last few years that I forgot how to sit down and watch a movie? It really seemed like I had.
This exercise became even more applicable to my weekly harp lessons. As a beginner, I was scared to death of failing, like I had at the piano. Then, I posed the question. With the harp, I wasn’t searching for a quick track to become a professional. I just wanted to play. It was as simple as that. When I made it clear to myself what I was searching for, things became easier. Playing became easier.
Something that came abundantly clear to me after practicing this new mindfulness technique, was how many of the things I yearned for had nothing to do with the rest of the world, and that is perfectly okay. We can’t blame ourselves for every disaster that comes along. The world will make sure we are informed of it’s happenings whether we like it or not. Our time is better spent working on ourselves for the time being.
Posing this question is still difficult, even now, but the response I get is more informative with each passing day.
What are you searching for? Was it this blog post? I’d love to know.
Kali Butcher 